Pink Elephant Blues
by KaraLee713
Summary: Another postTwilight story. Tony receives a visit from a recently departed friend. Guess who. TATE
1. You Make Me Look Bad

Title: Pink Elephant Blues

Author: KaraLee713

Summary: Another post-Twilight story. Tony receives a visit from a recently departed friend (guess who) semi-Tate, more so in later chapters

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, obviously, or this story would not be necessary.

Disclaimer 2: The title belongs to my little sister. Thanks Nina!

Author's Note: This is my first post. I've been a long time reader and have never finished writing a story to my satisfaction, but traumatic events (like those in Twilight) lead to change. I have been motivated to post. This will be in two, possibly three chapters. I probably could have done it one, but I'm having a hard time with the ending. Please enjoy, and please review!

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Tony stared at the shot glass in front of him, one of many. The bartender had been tempted to cut him off, but the look in his eyes and the stains on his clothes spoke of a desperate, aching need to get utterly and completely smashed.

Tony didn't even know what was in the glass at this point. He was having a difficult time remembering things. In fact, he'd forgotten everything except for what he came here to forget. Memories that still hadn't lost their potency danced before his eyes: Kate's smile as she stood up on the roof top; the innocuous red dot that had appeared so suddenly on her forehead; the feeling of her blood, spattering across his cheek; the empty eyes that stared up at him as he looked in disbelief at his fallen colleague.

He grunted to himself in mild chagrin. Kate was more than just a colleague, she was… she was… his brother/sister in arms… his comrade… his friend. He shook his head, trying to clear the fog from his brain, and more memories filled the space.

These were less vivid, clouded with shock. He remembered Gibbs firing at least two dozen bullets wildly in the direction the shot had come from, and the sight of Ari artfully dodging all of them as he made his escape into the building he was on top of. He remembered Gibbs' shouted words as he summoned all available back up to chase the man down. He remembered sinking slowly to his knees and staring at Kate's body. He remembered cradling her lifeless form in his arms for an undetermined length of time. One memory was clearer than the others: Kate was being pulled from his arms and carried away in a black bag. He had never realized how much meaning was contained in one of those bags. As she and the men carrying her moved into the stairwell and out of sight, he had felt as if a part of himself were being painfully ripped away.

The last memory before he started drinking was of Gibbs lifting him by the elbow to his feet and leading him slowly down the stairwell. They had been walking almost directly behind the EMT's carrying Kate. Tony had been fixating on anything other than her; the cold feeling of the railing under his hand, the number of steps he had taken, the slightly dizzy feeling he got from going around and around in the never-ending stairwell, someone named Mark who had proudly written on the wall that he "was here" last November. Tony had developed an instant hatred of Mark for his flippant disregard for the significance of this location. However, the reason for its significance was being paraded directly in front of him, and the fire of the hatred was gone, replaced by his earlier state of lethargy. Tony's forced apathy was interrupted when one of the EMT's rounded the corner too sharply and bumped Kate into the wall. Tony didn't remember much of what he had screamed at the man, but he did remember Gibbs holding him back until Kate's body was out of the building and being driven away. Gibbs had let another set of paramedics look at him and taken him to the car they had arrived in. "Are you…" he cleared his throat. "Are you alright to drive?" he had asked in a voice thick with emotion.

"Yeah," Tony had said, his voice sounding hollow, even in his own ears.

"Good," Gibbs said, "I'll uh… I'll talk to Abby and Ducky and the family. I'll catch a cab, you just… go home and take it easy, ok?"

"Yeah," Tony repeated, sounding exactly the same as the first time he had said it. He had driven aimlessly for a while, but he had spotted a bar and decided to stop. He had parked far from the door, hoping the fresh air on the walk would do him good. He entered, somehow thinking that all conversation would stop as he did, but no one in the bar knew about what had happened. To them he was just another customer. No one stopped to stare, no one looked at him with sympathy, they just carried on with their lives. He went to the bar, sat down, and began drinking and trying to forget.

But he couldn't forget. How could you forget that someone who had been such and integral part of your life was now gone forever? And that's what she was: gone forever. She had died. Snuffed out like a candle by that bastard Ari without a moment's hesitation. Tony could imagine that the man had smiled as he killed her. He squeezed the shot glass still in his hand and broke it.

"Hey! Take it easy there," a familiar voice said. He turned to his right and there she was. Kate. She was sitting sideways on the barstool, facing him, looking very comfortable and relaxed. Her elbow was on the bar, her head supported by her hand. She was looking at him half concerned and half amused. "You're gonna have to pay for that, you know." She smiled at him.

"You're dead," he said, turning back to face front.

"You're drunk," she responded, still smiling that beautiful smile of hers and maintaining the teasing tone she'd had so often when they spoke. "But I'm not holding it against you."

"Go away," he said. The bartender, who had come over to help clean up the mess from the broken glass, glared at him. "Just tryin' to help buddy." He headed back to the other end of the bar.

"Damn it Kate," he slurred. "You're makin' me look bad. You always make me look bad." He ran the towel the bartender had left through the mess and succeeded in spreading it around the bar.

"You don't need _me_ to do that Tony," she said, smirking, not changing her posture or position.

"But it is you!" He lowered his voice as he saw other customers eyeing him warily. "You're makin' me look crazy, now, and you _always_ do stuff to make me look bad. You never _ever _dropped that whole transvestite/transsexual kiss thing, you laugh at me when Gibbs smacks me, you took a god damn _bullet _for Gibbs, and then you…" he stopped.

"And then I what, Tony?"

"And then you went and died before I could do anything to save you, Kate. You make me look bad."

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Well, what do you think? Comments, suggestions, and criticisms welcome. Should I continue? I'm seriously asking, because my sister thought that that was the end. Please review! Thanks!


	2. The Cab

Bunzai: Thank you so much!

Shirik: I appreciate the encouragement.

chiroho: I'd love to hear your reaction to this chapter as well.

Emerson: lol. Sure! "Please update soon!" Umm… yeah… soon. (looks around all shifty eyed) This update was _definitely_ soon. What? It was soon compared to… other stuff.

Football Gurl Chick: lol. I would love it if Kate weren't dead, but it would kind of change my story. I should be writing other stories after this in which Twilight _never happened._ Because it didn't. It was all a bad dream, and I should be waking up shortly. lol, please review.

Salem Navy: Hi Ashley! (waves) My first official friend review! (woot) I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Yay! I love reviews! I love reviewERs! They make me happy… Anyway, sorry for the delay on this chapter. I was going to do something with it that required some research into old eps, but then I couldn't find good info and I had to change it. I'm still a little unhappy with this chapter, but your reviews made me so giddy that I became delirious, and I decided to post. Please enjoy and please review!

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"And then you went and died before I could do anything to save you, Kate. You make me look bad."

She laid a sympathetic hand on his arm, but he jerked away. "You're not real! I'm going home." He walked outside and headed (staggered, really) towards his car. He looked around, but Kate was nowhere to be seen. With a sigh of relief, he plopped down in the driver's seat.

"You shouldn't drink and drive Tony."

He jumped in surprise and turned to see her in the passenger seat, staring at him.

"I said, you shouldn't drink and drive."

He glared at her, but she didn't back down. He sighed, got out of the car, and walked (again, staggered) to the payphone to call a cab.

"I didn't need a cab you know," he said after he hung up, but she was gone again. Maybe she'd never been there. He considered it seriously, as the woman who'd just exited the bar stared at him. "I wasn't talking to you!" he called after her as she hurried away. He sighed again and sat down on the bench to wait.

The cab pulled up fifteen minutes later, and he hurriedly got in, hoping to avoid another run-in with Kate. He gave the driver his address, and settled back into the seat, laying his head back and closing his eyes.

"This cab is _really _disgusting. Leave it to you to call the cheapest cab company in town."

Tony's eyes popped open, and he looked over to see her next to him. He averted his gaze back to the front.

"Hello? I just zinged you and you've got nothing?" He kept his eyes studiously forward. "Come on Tony, I know it's in your nature, but don't be childish." He became very interested in the rapidly darkening sky out his window.

She folded her arms and frowned at him. "Fine. Since you're choosing to keep your big mouth shut, for once, I'll take advantage of the opportunity to get some things off my chest." She cleared her throat. "Number one: the only thing smellier than this cab is your cologne. You're supposed to spritz, not marinate. Number two…"

As she continued her list, Tony began to hum, to drown-out both her and the buzz in his head that was growing increasingly unpleasant.

Finally, it became too much. "Quiet," he muttered under his breath, trying to avoid the attention of the driver.

"What?" She raised an incredulous eyebrow. "So _now_ you're talking to me. Of course. That's just like you Tony. You only do things when it's convenient for you. When you want to talk, we talk, but when _I_ want to talk, you refuse. Did you ever consider _my _feelings? I'm the one who's dead! It's not all white lights and fluffy clouds, you know!"

The last part was yelled out the door of the cab as he hurried up the steps to his apartment.

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Sorry for the shortness of it. The third chapter will be up by Thursday, Friday at the latest… Wait, today IS Tuesday, right? That gives me… (counts on fingers)… this many days. :-) It might be the last chapter, or if I think it's too long, I'll split it into two. Please review! Thanks!


	3. Revelations

chiroho: You're right, poor Tony… lol, Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Karieflybabe: You got it! I know, I know, kind of a bizarre direction, but I'm very distraught over the events that made this story necessary. I can't be held accountable for my own actions. :o)

Salem Navy: I think I made it in my deadline, but I've forgotten how many days "this many" was. :oP

jtbwriter: Thanks! It's not really going to be funny anymore, now I'm being more Tate-ish, but I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I had been a little worried about the characterization, but your review made me feel much better!

Bunzai: You made me feel better about the characterization as well, and I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm in a really good mood today. One of my most favorite shows ever is _The X-Files,_ and there was a very short-lived spin-off called _The Lone Gunmen,_ which I loved. It was cancelled after one season, but I found out today… (giggles in anticipation)… that it's out on DVD! (does happy dance) I'm hoping I'll get it for my birthday. (FYI – July 13th – I'm turning 16!)

This chapter is very short, but that's only because I'm evil. I decided it was a good spot to end a chapter, even if there wasn't much before the good ending spot,and the fourth chapter will be up later tonight (if I get the computer back from my sister) or tomorrow morning/afternoon. Please enjoy and please review!

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The last part was yelled out the door of the cab as he hurried up the steps to his apartment building.

Tony ran into the building, and walked instinctively towards the elevator, but it was visions of not being able to elude Kate in such an enclosed space that made him choose to forgo it at the last second. He wheeled around to head towards the stairs. He climbed four flights, entered his apartment, and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

It was only with the solid wood and metal of the door between him and Kate that he allowed himself to pause. He leaned his back against the rather useless barricade, and realized with a start that his hands were shaking. He held them up, trembling like leaves, in front of his face, and stared. Tears formed in his eyes, and as the events of the day were once again relived, he began to cry.

"I'm sorry Tony." Her soft voice called out to him from the direction of the couch.

His head turned in that direction, and he was suddenly enraged by this hallucination that wouldn't leave him alone. "What is it exactly that you want?" He hurriedly wiped the tears off his face. His voice was tense and his eyes were wide and bloodshot.

"Just to tell you I'm sorry. For anything I've done to you in the past."

"What about what you're doing to me now, huh? Does that mean anything to you? Are you getting some sort of enjoyment out of harassing me?" He didn't wait for a response and stomped into the kitchen.

"I'm harassing _you_? Turnabout is fair play, Tony. You weren't exactly a prince to me when I was alive."

"Would you stop saying that!"

"What?"

"That you're dead!"

"It's a natural part of life! You accept death all the time. How is this different?"

"Because it's never been…" He broke off in mid-yell, and his voice softened, "It's never been someone I was in love with."

Her soulful eyes widened in shock, and then softened.

"Oh Tony, I didn't realize…"

Tony interrupted, "Just go, Kate."

"But…"

"Just go!"

She looked at him sadly and disappeared.

The tears began flowing anew, and he sank, sobbing, into a kitchen chair.

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Told you it was short… Anyway, like I said, chapter four will be up tonight or tomorrow. Please review! Thanks!


	4. Closure

jtbwriter: I don't know that he's sorry, per se, but it'll hopefully be resolved to your satisfaction. Enjoy!

chiroho: lol. It's not quite that I'm trying to drive him crazy, but that could be a story idea… (Tony's drifting off to sleep. Kate: "BOO!" Tony sits up in bed, but no one's there. He lays back down. Kate: "BOO AGAIN!" Tony: "AARGH!" Tony rips out his hair and runs shrieking out of the room.) I could have fun with that. Enjoy the last chapter!

shirik: I'm sorry, hopefully this chapter will make it better.

Karieflybabe: Ermm… right. Very sorry (edges away) Here! I updated! See! Who wants a shiny new chapter?

Cerasi J: Thanks! It's nice to meet another LGM fan. I'm glad you're enjoying it, I hope you like the last chapter.

csigirlie156: lol. Thanks so much! I know, the "Kate is dead" thing is very traumatic. Tony can't bring himself to say it in this chapter, partly because it conveys his feelings, partly because I couldn't bring myself to type it… Ah! I typed it! (breaks down sobbing in the corner) Why, CBS, WHY?

As I've said, this is the last chapter (sniffle) It's longer than the previous two, and will hopefully work out everything in a way that you guys like. I don't know when I'll get new stories up, as I have an over the summer paper on "The Great Gatsby" due the 25th of July, and I'll be in Virginia the 16th through the 23rd,but keep an eye out for me. Please enjoy the grand finale and please review!

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The tears began flowing anew, and he sank, sobbing, into a kitchen chair.

He didn't know how long he sat there crying over missed opportunities, but he apparently fell asleep. He awoke at 4:30 a.m. with uncomfortably dry eyes, and a killer headache. "Unnn…." He moaned and held his head in his hands.

He went to the bathroom and took some aspirin. Bending over the sink, he splashed cold water on his face. As he stood up, he jumped when he saw Kate in the mirror. But, she was only there for a second, so he dismissed it as the product of his hangover.

He was hoping that this was his last run-in with his hallucination, and he went to the bedroom to grab another few hours of sleep. With a scrutinizing look around the room to make sure he was alone, he hurriedly began to take off his clothes. He thought he heard a small laugh, and he quickly pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and climbed into bed.

He rolled over and ended up staring at the pile of clothes on the floor. The events of the day had taken their toll on this particular outfit; the moonlight made the blood on it a deep crimson.

He suddenly felt the need to take a shower.

He got up and picked up the clothes with his fingertips, tossed them in the fireplace, and threw a match in as well. As he watched the flames engulf the only physical link to Kate (however morbid it may be) he had, his stomach churned, and he ran to the bathroom and threw up.

After a shower, he felt a little better, and went back into his bedroom. It was 5:00, and he sighed as he looked at the clock. Darkness still pervaded the room, and he climbed into bed.

"Tony," Kate whispered. "Are you still awake?"

Tony groaned and rolled over. "This is not happening."

"Look Tony," she said, and she moved to sit on the bed.

Tony marveled that this was one hell of a hallucination; he had felt the bed shift when she sat down. "You're not real."

"But I wanted to…"

"You're not real!" He had his eyes squeezed shut.

"Tony, I just…"

"I can't hear you, cause you're NOT REAL!"

She placed her hands on her hips. "Could you just listen for…"

"NOT REAL! Not real, not real, not real…"

Kate ripped the pillow out from under his head, and clubbed him with it. Tony stared in wide-eyed, open-mouthed amazement, and began babbling to himself.

"Great, just great. My alcohol-induced hallucination just hit me, and I felt it. I'm crazy, that must be it. I'm not just drunk and hungover, I'm friggin crazy. That's wonderful. Just when I thought this day couldn't get any…"

Kate silenced him by taking his face in her hands and kissing him. Her voice was soft as she stared into his eyes. "Can I talk now?"

He opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but found no words, and merely nodded instead.

"What you said earlier meant the world to me, Tony, and I had to tell you that I love you too. I've loved you since the day we met… well, not really. You made kind of a lousy first impression, but shortly after that day… I fell in love." She smiled broadly, and her eyes sparkled with the intelligence and wit she always displayed.

"This is a fabulous fantasy I'm having here, but, unfortunately, you're dea… you're… not around anymore."

"Tony, this is not a fantasy. My soul, ghost, spirit, angel, whatever the hell I am, is here because you need to move on with your life."

"And you saying you love me is supposed to help me do that?" He laughed bitterly. "Let's say this isn't a dream or a hallucination, or the delusions of my shattered mind." He smiled ironically. "Now that you've told me, all I'll be able to think about for the rest of my life is how all I had to do was tell you, and we could've been together. I had the opportunity, the chance for happiness, for a life with you, and I blew it. This is _not _making me feel any better."

"I can see things from this side of the white light. If you don't get over this… it'll ruin your life."

"It's been less than a day, Kate! I'm supposed to get over losing you just like that?"

"Of course not! But you need to keep this in mind, Tony." She ran a hand down his cheek. "Move on."

Tears filled his eyes once again. "It's not fair."

"Of course it's not fair. Life _isn't_ fair. But I'll still be with you."

He laughed. "In my heart, right?"

"Yes, in your heart," she said, sounding exasperated. She slapped him playfully on the chest. "Don't knock it, Tony. Most clichés have _some_ truth to them."

He caught her hand in his as it bounced off his chest. "I don't know that I'll ever get over it, but I'll try for you."

She smiled and laced her fingers with his. "I'm glad."

"Could you… stay with me?" His eyes pleaded with her.

"Sure." She laid down facing him. As he closed his eyes, she gently played with his hair and stroked his face. His arms wrapped around her, and he fell asleep to the sound of her soft humming.

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He awoke to bright light in his bedroom. Gazing at the clock, he saw that it was now 10:00 a.m. As he stretched, he noticed there was something on his bedside table that hadn't been there before. It was a photo, and he gingerly picked it up.

Smiling at him from within the picture was Kate and himself. He laughed as he remembered this photo: it had been at the office Christmas party. He and Kate were… ever so slightly drunk, and, when asked to pose for a picture, they had simultaneously thrown their arms around each other, their cheeks pressed together. He delicately ran a finger over her lovely face, and smiled as he remembered the night before.

He instinctively knew that everything was going to be okay, but for now, he could grieve, and remember the short time they had together. He placed the picture back on the table and rose from the bed. He threw open his curtains. It was a beautiful day, and he was looking forward to sharing it with the woman he loved.

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TA DA! Ok, so it was just a tad bit hokey towards the end, but I think it works.Thanks to everyone who read and everyone who reviewed, (the reviews have made writing this story an excellent experience) and I hope you all will follow me into other stories. I look forward to reading your thoughts on the conclusion. Thank you!


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